I was going to post another Charles Causley poem but then this hit me yesterday. I discovered it on the Teignmouth Oracle Facebook page – a brilliant piece of rap about Teignmouth. I don’t know the rappers names (real) so I’ve just called them the ‘Teignmouth Rappers’. They did this apparently as part of a school project. I’ve posted the lyrics here but if you want to see the whole rap performance then go to the Youtube link at the end.
Straight Outta’ Teignmouth
(The Teignmouth Rappers)
[Dr. Buffet] You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge…
[Verse One: T-Bone]
Straight outta’ Teignmouth, crazy motherfudger named T-Bone,
from the womb with 42 Chromosomes.
When I’m cheesed off, take my socks off.
Pier’s not bigger, than the one in Roscof!
Yours too, boy, if you come and see me,
come n visit t-town don’t throw litter please.
Global warming, is not very cool,
used to learn about it erryday in school.
Teachers start to mumble, belly on tha’ rumble.
Mix em and cook em’. I likes an apple crumble.
In Harbour Fish Bar cod n chips twice,
Central, Pizza House — Not very nice!
So give it up smooth!
Queue at Lloyd Maunders, puts me in a bad mood.
Here’s a pleasant rap about our town,
Muse ‘n’ ice cream is for what we’re renowned.
TQ-14 is the postcode
Stagecoach buses stay in race mode.
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe,
I’m pickin’ up litter yea’ that’s daily.
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly,
until them little litter droppers see clearly,
that I’m down with the capital T-C-C.
Boy you can’t play with me.
So when I’m in your neighborhood, you better duck,
Coz’ T-Bone is crazy as FUDGE!
As I leave, believe I’m rough,
but when I come back, boy, I’m comin’ straight outta Teignmouth!
[Eazy-Peazy-E] Yo Riz!
[MC Riz] Whassup?
[Eazy-Peazy-E] Tell em’ where you from!
[Verse Two: MC Riz]
Straight outta’ Teignmouth, born and raised in the slums!
Now living in paradise, where we have LOADS of fun!
Skating on the seafront, and you all know this,
Teignbridge Council won’t condone this!
But I don’t give a dayum’, I’ma make my round,
in Cellars bar, where I spend my pounds!
I don’t like crime, what I do like is the beach,
Down by Teignmouth letters, with a right tasty peach.
Off to work, at The Ship Inn pub,
I find a good ol’ pussy, and I give it a rub!
On the back beach, you can watch people row,
it looks hard work, I don’t fancy a go.
You’ll probably get tired like a normal person is supposed to,
but that shows me, you’re not very good at rowing.
A crazy rower from tha’ river Teign.
Attitude legit cause’ I’m green.
MC Riz has a real sick ride,
salty-sea dog, predicting the tide!
Not the right hand cause I am the hand itself,
every time I pick a piece of fudge off the shelf!
Security is max and that’s the law.
R-I-Z spells Riz but I’m raw!
See, coz’ I ain’t no villain.
On the seafront I be chillin’!
I eat chips, one then two,
curry sauce and gravy I don’t want to choose!
Look, you might take it as a trip,
but a brother like Riz is on a gangsta tip
Straight outta Teignmouth!
[Dr. Buffet] Eazy-Peazy is his name and the boy is comin’!
[Verse Three: Eazy-Peazy-E]
Straight outta’ Teignmouth!
Is a brotha’ that’ll cuddle yo’ mother,
and make ya’ sister think I love her!
Dangerous benefit cheat raising hell,
and you know that you’re in Dawlish cause’ the smell!
See, I care to much, ‘n’ that’s the problem,
I see a seagull, but I dodge him!
But I’m smart, lay low, and creep a while,
and when I see a gull pass, I smile!
Down Dicey’s for free pool on a Monday,
‘Cause I’m not paying 50 pence on a Sunday!
Lookin’ for the one they call Peazy!
When I play Flappy Bird it tends to please me.
Conscientious! Never been on the swings in the park.
“Push me higher T-Bone!”
The harbour front is a sensation,
I like to catch a crustacean.
Give a little gust of wind and I’m jettin’,
but leave a memory no one’ll be forgettin’,
so what about the fool who ate crabs? Forget him!
You think I give a damn about a sea spider’s limb?
This is the autobiography of ‘The E’, and if you ever play with me,
you’ll get taken, to tourist information.
They’ll show you where pasties be makin’,
Straight outta’ Teignmouth!
To see the video go to: Youtube link
Note: in the video you’ll catch a glimpse of the street art shown at the start of this post. For an earlier post about this check out Cool Dudes